Habit 5 of the 7 Effective Habits: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood.
See other people's problems from their prospective. Don't use active listening techniques in place of actually listening (aka empathic listening). We listen autobiographically, i.e. we put what we hear through our frame of reference, and it's not how we should listen.
When listening, dont:
Realize when you're using your frame of reference while listening, then stop and empathize.
Don't listen only with the intent to reply. Also, when you do reply, be good at it. This is a bit of a "eat your cake and have it too" argument.